Recovery Is A Process.

The words in the song
"All I Want For Christmas Is You"
ring true.

The week of surgery,
my parents asked me what
I wanted for Christmas.
And my mind literally
could not come up with a thing.

Yet, I have everything that I wanted.
Still, I look at my Jonathan
and think, "holy cow, you had open heart surgery."
Or I think, "that's my man!"
Sometimes I just breathe yet another
sigh of relief and thankfulness.

Today at church
Pastor Gary was talking about
the way God answers prayer.
Sometimes it's "yes,"
sometimes it's "no,"
and sometimes it's "not yet."
And I'm praising God that He
answered "yes" to the prayer
to heal John.
He said, "yes, I'm going to reveal
Myself to My people through
this situation."
It's amazing to me that God
has glorified His name
yet we've received a blessing.

I'll be honest,
recovery is hard.
It's hard for John.
It's hard for his family and friends.
It's hard for me.
It's constantly being aware
of the physical,
mental,
emotional,
and spiritual states of mind.

It's knowing when to be patient,
when to be encouraging,
and when to just listen.

It's almost mastering the art
of reading the look on his face
to know what he needs in that moment.
It's learning him.
And gearing up for a lifetime
of learning more.

It's knowing when to cry,
when to laugh,
and when and what to process.

It's still so crazy to me
that within 2 weeks
John was diagnosed,
hospitalized,
operated on,
sent home,
taken back to the ER,
sent home again,
and is now starting a
3 month recovery.

There's much to unpack
and examine.
I just praise God that He
is a God who cares.
And helps us in times of trouble.

Now for some Christmas pictures :]

New buffs!!!

Surprise visit from Frosty :]

Making cookies!!

Happy New Year!

Home Again.

Quick update:

John was released from the hospital
again this afternoon
and is home :]

They sent him home
with meds to continue
to shed the extra fluid in his body.

The doctors are hopeful it
will be gone in a few days.

Please pray that the fluid will stay off.
And there will be no more
ER visits during his recovery.

I am home now, too
after spending all of last week
at his mom's house on the southside.
It's nice to be back into a normal
routine.

Last I spoke with John
he said he was feeling
pretty good.

It's awesome to hear he's doing well
and feeling well.

Thanks for your continual prayers :]

Recovery Day # 5

Bringing an open heart patient
home is like bringing home a couple
of newborn babies.
Everything that seems funny,
is frightening.
You almost WANT to stay in the hospital
for immediate care if needed.

John has been thoroughly enjoying
being home and actually being able
to sleep through the night without
night nurses coming in to poke and prod.

However, he's been retaining a lot of fluid
from the surgery.
He's actually gained quite a bit
of water weight,
in his feet, calves, thighs
and abdomen,
which is crazy to see on such a
normally, little guy.

Pain meds are something that
must be given on time
otherwise John really struggles
with the tightening of muscles,
shivers, and overall stiffness,
soreness and pain.
Sometimes I just have to sit
and rub his back while
the meds kick in.
I hate to see him hurting!

Today the extra water weight
(25 extra pounds worth)
really started wearing on him.
Just before going to bed
Saturday night he started experiencing
some chest pain,
shortness of breath,
and discomfort in his torso.
It was also concerning as to why
he wasn't shedding the water weight,
given his age, how in shape he is,
as well as the few doses
of diuretics given to him.

The chest pains gradually
increased and grew worse.
After a couple of incidences
when John actually bent over in pain,
we decided to pack up and come to the ER.

After about 4 hours in the ER room,
they pumped him full of a more powerful
diuretic (through an IV)
and decided to admit him
overnight.

It was pretty scary for a while.
Being middle of the night,
all of us sleep deprived, with
uncontrollable chest pain.
John and I took turns praying
over him.
There was definitely some obvious
spiritual attack going on.

But, the nurses came in and gave him
an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart),
and concluded that John has what's called
a "left pleural effusion."
Basically, he has fluid around the sides of his left lung.
This can easily be treated either
with the stronger diuretic he's already on,
or by literally going in and draining it
through a tube. (minor procedure.)
We will learn more when the doctor comes in.

Please pray for this!
For continual healing, the pain to subside,
for the fluid to be released from his body,
for the fluid on his lung to make
it easier to breathe once it's out.
As well as for patience and endurance
for him and all of us during this
long road to recovery.

So, none of us actually have gone to bed
since Friday night.
And now it's...
Sunday morning at 9am!
We're sitting in the new PCU room,
(none of us really missed this place)
but honestly it's just nice to watch him sleep.
He's just so handsome,
and peaceful looking.

Sometimes we lock eyes.
And sometimes I can read what he's saying.
Fear,
relief,
tiredness,
pain...
etc.
Part of the beauty of learning someone.
And also another way that I can just
let him know that
"we're all still here for you."

UPDATE:

John is staying for another night
in the hospital.
They're continuing the diuretic
to get rid of the excess fluid.
We hope that once the fluid is gone,
he will be released to come home
again tomorrow :]

Please continue to pray for the fluid,
that it will be released from his body
so that he can feel less pain
and more mobility.
It's rough for him to be in so much
pain, especially coming from his chest!

Also, please pray that the fluid
will stay AWAY!
We don't want it coming back;
please pray that once it's
gone, it will stay gone.

And finally,
for this recovery process.
For no more bumps along the way.
But we welcome a noticeable
everyday improvement,
with challenges to be overcome
and conquered as well as opportunities
to build relationships,
including bringing J and I closer
together spiritually.

Thank you for your unending prayers.

Going Home!

John will be released from the hospital
within the next hour!

He's basically unhooked from everything,
eating dinner,
getting dressed,
then we're out of here!

He's being sent home with
a lot of instructions.
Do's & Dont's,
meds and restrictions.

He can't lift anything over 5 pounds
for a month.
And then nothing over 10 pounds
for two more months!
His sternum (where they opened his chest)
will take about 6-8 weeks to heal.
(Just like any broken bone).
No lifting his hands over his head.

He has an awesome new full-sized
bed to look forward to.
And lots of down time!

My Heart for Him.

Dear Jonathan:

It was at the Indianapolis airport

when I knew I wanted to marry you.

We'd only been dating for 100 days.

And 75 of those days, one of us was in another country.

You were coming back from a 2 week trip to Cambodia.

And I'd just returned home days ago from a 2 month adventure in Africa.

You got off the plane,

scraggly, dirty, and exhausted.

It was in that moment you were more attractive

to me than ever.

You were exhausted from serving Jesus.

And I realized that you loved Him just as much as I did.

It was then I knew what I wanted for the rest of my life.

It was to serve Christ alongside of you,

coming off of planes and out of battlefields

looking just as rugged and worn out as you.

It was in the St. Francis Cardiac Care Unit

Room #353

when I thought I might lose you.

Open heart surgery?

We'd only been dating for 7 months.

I never wanted to doubt God's goodness,

but what if the Name of God was glorified

more through bringing you home early

than through you staying on this Earth?

What if my teammate I was so ready

to serve alongside of,

suddenly went home?

I'll tell you what I love about you,

my Jonathan,

Your care.

Your laugh.

Your wild-heart.

Your goofyness.

But most of all,

I love the Jesus inside of you.

It attracts me to you like a magnet.

And does crazy things to my heart.

During your friends and family get-together

the Sunday night before your surgery,

I watched you walk up on stage,

standing tall and handsome,

Bible in hand,

thank everyone for coming,

and then encourage us all through scripture.

You are bold.

I heard your comforts

when I cried in your arms

the night before surgery day,

"God's got this."

You are courageous.

I heard your parents tell me that

you were quoting scripture to them

as the operating team wheeled

you into the Operating Room.

You are brave.

I've heard your prayers.

I've seen your obedient heart to Christ.

The very fact that you belong to Him

and He can do as He pleases.

You are obedient.

This past week I've seen your faith

walked out in a way I've never seen before.

And with each step towards Jesus I see you make,

I step with you,

and my heart weaves itself a little more into yours.

And that moment when we saw you for

the first time right after surgery,

you were still intubated,

unable to talk.

You were sedated,

unable to much move.

You began to wake up,

trying to focus because you heard

our voices.

Your hand started moving,

reaching out to us.

Surpassing all of the nurses

tests, requests, and hurdles.

As if it were nothing...

Your ejection fraction that's functioned

at 30-35% your entire life,

instantly jumped to 45-50%

directly after surgery.

It was then I knew you were a fighter.

And in these last few days as

you've began to recover,

you've never ceased to amaze me.

Your strength.

Your determination.

The way you fight through the pain,

and still manage to make us laugh.

You may not feel like a super hero,

but you are mine by far.

You inspire me to love God more,

to trust in His goodness more.

That His Will really is good for my life.

Always.

In your temporary weakness,

your faith is speaking strength

among the people watching you.

Your faith makes them strong.

And the Jesus in you,

is attracting them to His inviting arms.

You're already a miracle baby

who's survived the 10%.

You spent 25 years of your life doing

unimaginable things that most people don't

get to experience in their entire lifetime.

You shouldn't be alive today.

But you are.

By the Grace of God, you are.

And I can't believe God hand-picked me

to be with you.

I'm forever grateful

that we can share in this trial together.

Because it produces perseverance.

And will make us stronger together

for future mountains.

Whether we're climbing them,

or asking them to move.

Same team,
Alisha.

Recovery Day #3

John's least favorite time of the day
is Physical Therapy time.
Tasks as simple as
walking down the hall and back
or getting into bed are
discouragingly difficult for him.

His pain is becoming easier to
keep under control and his
paleness gets better everyday.
He's still my incredibly handsome man. :]

He's been a little more talkative today

as the day progresses.

It warms my heart when I hear his laugh.

It's my favorite sound in the world!!

He's currently sitting in bed
getting a unit of blood because of low hemoglobin
and watching the Dark Knight Rises.
We are hoping this boosts his energy level!!
(The blood, not the movie ;-) )

Regardless,
all the doctors and nurses are
pleased with his progress and say,
"he looks great!"

They are expecting to send him home
over the weekend!

I think we are all getting a taste of how
difficult this road to recovery could actually be.
It's really a one day at a time process,
and it's important to celebrate the "little victories"

I'm asking God to create in me
who I need to be for John right now.
I'm asking Him to give me the words
of encouragement to share with John.

Thanks for your continual prayers
during this long road to recovery.
He really is doing very very well.
I am confident that he'll be back to his
normal, bouncy, energetic self soon. :]

Recovery Day #2

John has now moved from the ICU to the PCU!
He has no more IVs, catheter, and is no longer on oxygen!
The new pain med they started him on seems to be working well.
His mom and I are sitting in his room with him now
as he sleeps and his breathing is music to our ears!
We love that he is resting comfortably :]

They've put John on some IV fluids to try and get
his blood pressure up.
It's been staying pretty low since surgery.
If his pressure does not increase
they may have to move him back to the ICU
in order to give him more meds to bring his
pressure up.
Pray this doesn't happen!

They had him up and walking earlier.
About 70 feet around the PCU
He did great!
He's also surpassing his respiratory therapy goal :]
He's a beast and he's determined to heal quickly
but efficiently.

Current Prayer Requests.

John is starting to feel a lot of pain.
The morphine they had him on was making him nauseous
so they took him off of that and started him on a different
pain-killer.

He'll be spending another night in the ICU,
because they need to get more of his levels under control
and ween him off of more of the "helper" meds.
So maybe he'll be able to move to the PCU tomorrow.

Because of the pain he hasn't slept much, so he's tired
and a little grumpy.
They had him sitting in a chair when I saw him last.
This is a good thing!
His blood pressure has been so low that when he stands up
or sits up straight, he gets really dizzy and light-headed.
So this is an improvement!

He was eating some jello and soup broth
and seemed to be keeping it down okay.

Please pray for SLEEP for John.
Pray that they can get the pain under control
so that he can rest tonight and get a good nights sleep.

It's hard for me and his family to see him like this.
We feel helpless because we can't do a thing.
Especially with only seeing him for 5-10 minutes at a time.

During my last visit  I brought my Jesus Calling book in with me.
I asked if he wanted me to read today's entry and he said "yes" right away.
He hasn't been able to read anything today.
It was talking all about God's timing.
How we can come to God with our biggest hopes and dreams,
yet before we get ahead of ourselves,
look at the present and be patient in trusting God's timing.
How applicable!

Since he can't read much, please pray that God will whisper His words into John's ears now and for the rest of the evening.
Giving him peace, strength, endurance, and patience.

Thank you.

Visiting Hours.

I just saw J for the 9am visiting time.
His color looks so much better than yesterday. (less pale)
He's extubated now and talking :]
He's already started telling jokes and making the nurses laugh.
He's now sleeping and resting.

Visiting Hours:

Right now John is in the SICU.
Soon, hopefully within the next day, he will move to the PCU where the visiting hours are less restrictive.
These hours are:
11am - 8pm.

Things to know:
-Please wash or sanitize your hands before coming in the room.
-No hugs for John yet :[ Only because his chest is super sensitive.
-He has a heart pillow that he "hugs" to support his chest if he needs to cough or laugh.  Although the less he laughs the better (even though my Jonathan loves laughing :])
-Please, please, please if you are sick, might be sick or become sick, please don't subject John to extra germs/risk of infection.  Right now it's important to keep him as clean and sanitized as possible.

Other than that - I know he's excited to have visitors.
He really is in good spirits and kept saying to me over and over
"My heart is strong. I am so blessed.  I am so blessed."

But really, John, we are all so blessed to know you.

Surgery Day. (Continuous Updates)

Good Morning!

10:30 am - Arrived at hospital.  John's mom and dad followed him and the nurse into the back for prep. They'll get him in a gown and his IV in.  We'll see him shortly before his 12:30pm surgery.

**Pray for peace in John's mind and spirit.  Pray that God continually whispers scripture into his ears while he's awake and asleep.  Pray for friends and family in the waiting room.; for patience and endurance.**

Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord. -Psalm 27:14

1:00 pm - We've said our "see ya afters" and they've wheeled him back.  It's a great day to save lives!!!

2:30 pm - The nurse just came to tell us all is going well!!!!  Keep praying.  We still have several hours to go.

3:25 pm - All is still going well.  Waiting for another update from the nurse. :]

6pm - surgery went well :) they're finishing up and were waiting on the doctor to come out and talk to us. Pray for patience and healing. God is GOOD!

7:15 pm - Spoke with Dr. Gerdisch.  John did really well the entire time! Since this condition is so rare they took lots of photos for medical teaching purposes they're planning on writing up a journal and publishing him! (He'll love that.)

Here's what the surgeon said:

-He is still in operating room receiving "platelets" to boost coagulation. 
-Dr. Gerdisch used the word he was "rock-solid" the entire time. 
-His left coronary artery (which was the defect) was huge and much extra time consumed as it was deeply embedded, but went very well!! 
-His ejection fraction (amount of blood leaving heart to be re-oxygenated) was 30-35% pre-op and has already dramatically increased to 45-50%!!

My man is a fighter.  When they were wheeling him into the OR, he was quoting scripture to his family as they parted.  I love this man!!

We'll see him in about an hour.  More updates to come soon.
Thank you all for you continual prayers.  Your support is overwhelmingly uplifting !!!

9:00 pm - We just saw him for the first time. He looked .... like he just had open heart surgery. Handsome, nonetheless. He was actually already waking up from the sedation. When the nurse said, "your family is here!" John nodded really big :]

11:00 pm - John is expected to be off of the ventilator tonight and sitting up in the morning! He's progressing along at an amazing rate!

I'm Home for some rest for the night. I'm thankful that my Jonathan picked up sign language as quick as he did. Because he was still intubated and coming out of sedation when we saw him (there's a tube down his throat helping him breathe), he wasn't able to talk. His brother told him "You know, you've got a good lady here." John shook his head no. Doug and I looked at each other puzzled. "Oh yeah, what do you have then?" He finger-spelled, me verbalizing each letter individually, 
I - H-A-V-E - A -M-I-R-A-C-U-L-O-U-S - W-O-M-A-N. *sigh* Not only is he all there, but he's amazing. And my heart is absolutely woven into his.

Surgery Scheduled.

The date was set today!

Monday, December 10th @ 12:30pm.
Dr. Marc Gerdisch

John will be discharged today and sent home for the weekend.  I haven't seen him today, but yesterday he was in great spirits! He was able to put on some normal clothes (rather than the fancy hospital gown)  and walk around the hospital.  Oh! They even gave him the attractive gray slipper socks with little grippies on them.  :] John, his mom and I even made it down to the gift shop to look at their Christmas stuff!!

Still the same goofy guy.  IV and all!

His mom and I even found awesome light up Christmas glasses.

Thank for your continued prayers and encouraging support!

It is appreciated deeply and I am overwhelmed by the amazing community we are a part of!!!

Spoke With the Surgeon.

Quick update.

We spoke with the surgeon and his family and I feel confident in his ability.  The doctor is hopeful of a full recovery after the CT scan of John's heart showed no appearance of heart damage or scarring.  This gives hope to a stronger recovery!

John has been dreaming of what his "new heart" will be like.  For his entire life his heart has basically been functioning at half the rate it should have been.  And given how active and "wild" he has been in his life thus far, he likes to think about what he'll be able to do with a fully functioning heart.  I personally think of him as my Superman. :]

The surgery will most likely be this coming Monday.  Keep praying!!

The Adventure Begins.

I always knew my Jonathan had a wild heart, but I had no idea how wild it actually was, until this week.

Little did I know what I was getting myself into when I started dating my handsome, dark & curly-haired, rocking climbing friend.  Our frequent visits to IHOP (or really any 24-hour breakfast diner), allowed me to learn more and more of his heart.  I soon discovered that not only is this man after God's own heart, as well as mine, but he lives for adventure.  I told God shortly after we started dating, "Jesus, if John's my forever, our relationship is not going to be "normal" is it?"  Meaning, we're going to climb mountains together, fights battles for Christ together in 3rd world countries, and he'll probably take me quite a way out of my comfort zone.  He's an adventure-seeker.  It's where he comes alive.  And
I
love
it.

The past few days he's started us on our first adventure.  His close friends, family, and I have all begun up our first mountain.

John grew up extremely active.  He was a varsity athlete, the captain of several sports teams, and performed WELL.

For the past few weeks, John has been in and out of the cardiologist due to chest pain.  He described them as "mini-heart attacks."  After nearly every heart test in the book, the doctor's concluded he has [genetically] high cholesterol and a very low EF (Ejection Fraction - meaning the amount of blood pumping from his heart to his body is less than normal).  So with a weak heart and a high cholesterol, yet a 25-year-old, super-fit, active, and overall healthy guy, the doctors remained puzzled as to what was causing this abnormal EF level.

Today I went with him to his latest appt to talk about the results of his latest stress test.  Without many answers we left the office and headed back to his mom's house.  On our way back he mentioned more chest pain.  It increased, spreading down the left side of his body.  We were convinced of heart attack.  After calling his doctor when the pain did not subside, we were instructed to head to the ER.

After having a heart cath and getting the results, they found it.  They finally gave us an answer.  My Jonathan was born with an extremely rare heart condition called ALCAPA (Anomalous Left Coronary Artery from the Pulmonary Artery (instead of the aorta)- google it!)  Basically one of his arteries is coming off of another artery rather than his aorta.  This condition requires open heart surgery.  This will be happening within the next week.  We are hoping for this coming Monday.

The miracle in this already is the fact that John is alive today.  He's made it 25 years strong while this condition is almost always found in infants.  90% of infants with this condition do not survive.  Not only did John survive the 10% survival rate as a baby, but he made it 25 years with this condition! AND without complication!

I already see God's hand at work in this.  Before leaving for the ER yesterday, I prayed over my Jonathan.  I whole-heartedly believed in God's healing power and rebuked away the chest pain in the name of Jesus! Upon opening our eyes, the pain was still there.  We went to the ER.  On our way there I was debating with God.  "I don't understand! You can heal him from this chest pain! We don't HAVE to go to the ER because you are the ultimate healer and physician! WHY didn't you stop this!?"

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD - Isaiah 55:8 Oh....that's why.  Okay Lord, I will trust You.  I see now that had we NOT come to the ER, they would not have done the heart cath which was the one test that revealed this abnormality.  Had this condition been ignored, John's heart would have continued to weaken and he would only have about 5-10 years of life left. Praises to God's holy and mighty name in the highest! Thank you to everyone who is praying.  It's truly encouraging to be in community with other believers who place their faith in the one true God. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  His parents, brother and sister-in-law, nephew, close friends, and I appreciate it more than you know. Stay tuned for updates.